I wish I would’ve know that there is no such thing as a normal family. That perfection is a mirage. And blankets are for keeping.
I wish I would’ve known that brothers aren’t forever. And that keeping my mouth shut and silent scorning are two very different things.
I wish I’d forgiven easier, myself included. I wish I’d trusted him less and myself more.
Wish I’d known to give thanks for what is and to forget what isn’t.
I wish I knew then that someday I’d be just like her in all the ways I adored.
I wish I’d known that those dance parties were numbered I would’ve drank less and danced a little more. Would have still eaten waffles and peanut butter.
I wish I would’ve inconvenienced myself and come that year for Thanksgiving.
Talk more about what matters.
Listen without prepping a response.
Above all, come to the dinner table.
I wish I’d known that to love and to have lost is not noble, it is normal. Nothing ever stays the same not even people.
I wish I’d known that love wasn’t invincible if no ones guarding it.
Wish I would’ve slept more. Sleeping is essential to mental health.
More shall be revealed- just wait
*I did the exact and loving opposite of what I felt like doing today and took myself to a women’s writing workshop. We read Nora Ephron’s What I Wish I’d Known. I can now honestly say, I like Nora. This list is what I wish to tell my inner 16 year old self. Believe you me, she’s still in charge some days. The beautiful part is that I know them now, and now is where God lives. The moment. The here is where you can begin again, now. Grieving some losses, my family dynamics have changed, some of my grief is coming a decade later. There are no rules. Add that to the list.