the cure to my dis-ease

I still remember the day Janet announced she had found the cure to alcoholism,   The Incurable Disease.  The disease of selfishness, self-centered, fear.  Being amongst the crowd of ‘ego-maniacs with inferiority complexes’  my ears perked a bit.  What was it?!  I had to know.  I’d buy every bottle.  (ha, punny)  I’d become the spokesperson for the whatchamacallit and soon everyone could be cured of the insanity!

If I just do the (loving) opposite of whatever I initially want to do, I’ll be cured.

Damnit Janet.  You are right.  I have been walking around in diapers for weeks.  Feelers hurt, decision makers broke, co-per’s out of whack.  Only yesterday did it hit me to act in the loving opposite.  Feelings AREN’T facts they are feelings and you should eat them.

I have spent the last 37 hrs pretending and acting like a mature-spiritually fit woman.  This has not been easy.  Just yesterday I got a simple text and my minds initial first response was; Eff off.  Seriously.  That’s what I wanted to send as my reply.  Thank you God I had a split second of sanity come into play and I didn’t have to do what my mind told me it thought I should do.  My mind has terrible ideas at times.

I’m not cured.  There is slightly less dis-ease today than yesterday.  Just by acting in the loving opposite.  I like it when directions are simple.  My dear friend Janet, you keep on giving.   I miss you.  I am sorta still mad you died.  I hate it when people do that.

Here’s to 365 degree pivots in perspective, xo.

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