I had a baby.  I now have three sons.  The latest edition came in at 7 pounds 10 ounces 20 inches long.  We call him, Hugo.  Social security made him all official and gave him a card that reads: Hugo Noel Smith.  March 10th at 10:02 in the morning this little human being came out of my body.  This miraculous event still trips me out…I mean come on.  A person growing inside another person.  It’s always one for the books in my opinion.  New life really never gets old.  I kept telling myself, no one cares!  It’s your third baby and it’s a boy!  Old news.  Boy, was I wrong.  Dear friends championed baby showers and a meal train and offers to take the bigger boys for play dates,  they’ve called, brought coffee, loved all over on us.  All these persons continue to surprise me.  They (you) care.  A lot.  Thank you, person.  I just love being wrong about you.

Staring at Hugo is sorta like trying to stare directly into the Sun.  After a few seconds, my eyes start to burn and inevitable tears well up.  It hurts so good.  I am overwhelmed with the love I already feel for him.  I am overwhelmed with the goodness of my life.   This third baby stuff is both the hardest and the easiest.  Harder because we are permanently outnumbered and unless I opt for some surgical procedure, will never have enough hands for all three of them.  Easiest because, my body is so used to not sleeping that this whole not-sleeping thing doesn’t phase me quite like the first born did.  And because Otto and Hobbs play so well together I can still enjoy a few still moments on the couch nursing Hugo much like I did with Otto.  Having Eric home for three weeks now hasn’t hurt either.  There is nothing so precious as the gift of time.  We’ve been soaking up one another in this sacred space of new life and a new chapter in our life story.  The time when we became the ‘we’ we’d always be, forever and ever.

Letting people love you is the most kind thing you can do for both yourself and for others.

Thank you for reading and in turn, loving  me.  To see pictures of Hugo and the other two rowdy boys see my Instagram @merysunshine


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