giants

Giants walk among us.

I know you probably don’t believe me…But I’m not talking about Paul Bunyan or Goliath or Big Foot.  Its more like people who show up dis-shevled and raw.  They talk about the demons, the voices,  the insanity of doing the same things over and over again and expecting different results.  They look down at their feet when they talk and their shoes are dirty and their socks don’t match.  There are those too who simply give freely of what they have at that moment.  Their time, their truth, coffee pouring skills.  They aren’t always the loudest or the most vibrant, a lot of the times they are sheepish or plain looking.  These are giants.

When someone has the balls to tell the truth-the hard truth… really tell it like it is;  I’m a mess.  I want to drink.  I didn’t, but I wanted to. GIANT.  A mom who admits to loving her child while simultaneously wanting to ‘punt them.’ GIANT.  When someone takes a few minutes to tell that same person you’re not alone, I’ve been there too and No, you’re not as crazy as you think,  that’s a GIANT.  When a gal walks around the room pouring coffee and offering cookies to the rest of the hot messes in the building after her own long, hard, sad day, GIANT.

Giants walk among us.

This has been a hard week for me.  I have been getting little to no sleep. This has left me feeling grumpy and glum. I wonder how I’ll manage another baby, another sleep schedule, another mouth.  This proves to be all too much to think about before 7 am.  I’ve had to accept the role of  sponge.  I have needed to soak up prayers, allow the neighbors to play with the kids, take gift cards (graciously) and receive supportive texts.  I was feeling all sorts of sorry for myself about this but this is ego.  This is fear.  This is my look-good out for blood.  And to that I say,  Pfffffffffffffttttttttt.  (It helps if you sound it out.  Put your tongue between your perched lips and blow-should sound like a fart.) This is giant in training stuff.  It’s infuriating and debilitating and completely FREEING!  I’m a freaking mess sometimes people!  I am short with my children, spend days in the same leggings and don’t make my bed until 5 minutes before I crawl back into it for the night.  And none of this really matters,  BECAUSE:

I’ve really really really accepted the fact that I am wholly, fully and completely loved.   When you realize  there isn’t anything you can do to earn or lessen that love- you’re free to be unbathed, mis-matched and well, crazy.   You just go ahead and be CRAZY.   I’m the freaking president of that club.  Its safe there.  It’s love.

Happy Friday Giants- go be big and brave and crazy!

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2 thoughts on “giants

    1. Me too.
      Thank you, Mery Sunshine, for taking time to blog & publicly filet your heart to us. It’s in sharing your story that i get to relate, know im not alone & someone else “gets me”. <3

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