why i almost love almost

Almost is the closest thing to being there. It’s seeing it, tasting it, smelling it, you are so close.

Almost is the idea that you can come back and try, try, try again. There’s more to learn, more to discover.

Almost is savoring each and every moment, knowing it won’t last forever.

Almost is knowing that it, whatever it is, is about to be over. Its a bittersweet limbo of where you are and where you’re heading.

I remember hearing it a lot: in softball, karate, math quizzes, monkey bars. I was the queen of almost got it. And I hated it. I wanted to be the best. I wanted to achieve greatness on the first try. It was hard to see the beauty at the time. The beauty of imperfection and of being teachable. The glory of dusting off and trying again. I can recall the unwavering enthusiasm of teachers, coaches and my parents, “You almost got it!” I just thought they were being nice, feeling sorry for the poor kid who never hit the home run. Growing up doesn’t just expand your palate for vegetables it changes your hard core belief systems, over and over and over.

When I watch Hobbs struggle with simple tasks like pulling up his body weight and feeding himself- I think to myself, “it’s ok buddy, you almost got it.” I love him regardless of his performance. I know this is how God loves me. When I’m not quite to the top or about to give up, I’m loved. Dragging my feet or dancing with joy, the results are the same: loved. I guess what I really wanted to say is that for a long time almost has had a bad reputation in my book. Its’ been redeemed and dubbed, pretty-friggn’-awesome. I kind of live in almost. This girl will never have all the answers, the right food, the best clothes or karate moves. And the even crazier idea is to like it that way. The pressure’s off…..Have an almost perfect weekend friends!

Oh hey, one more thing. Next time I see you it’ll be my 100th post! What the H-E- double hockey sticks?! To celebrate I’ll be giving away a prize to one of you! My friends, my cheerleaders, my lovers of the light. You-know-who is designing the artwork, I’m thinking we’ll slap it on a reusable tote for Earth day.

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5 thoughts on “why i almost love almost

  1. Mery, you’re almost perfect in every way!! & I love you just the same; those almost imperfections, that truly are beautiful-who are you comparing yourself to anyway? I love you for your heart and the way God speaks to you and makes me eyes leak. I love you how you love! You’re you and God couldn’t have done any better <3

    1. Hey TT, thanks for reading and commenting! I’m not comparing just making peace with myself. I’ve come to know, love and appreciate myself more this last year than ever. Just a bi-product post on the process of self acceptance! LOVE YOU

  2. I love this and I love your blog!! I have been reading with your beautiful, talented voice in my head. Maybe you should consider doing some video blogging! You definitely have the personality and the effect on people to draw them in. Much love to you, sista!!

    Jennifer

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