illegal pee

I wanted to get out of town without getting out of town, ya know? It was Monday and the sun was beckoning. I actually had the energy to respond, “We’re coming!” So we chased the rays east bound on to I-90 to Coeur d’ Alene, Idaho. With any good road trip I get myself a coffee, nothing too fancy drip with cream and raw sugar. Rocking the new shades, feeling fresh. Mellow tunes and dozing boys. I love my new van. I mean, like I want to marry it I love it so much.
Coeur d’Alene is a bittersweet for me. I am working on the sweeter side of it. I lived there briefly while I attended and flunked out of North Idaho Community College. A very dark and sad time in my life. There wasn’t a lot of joy in my life. I destroyed friendships, betrayed trust basically I was a bulldozer of drugs and alcohol and if you weren’t on board with that, you were going to get plowed. One might imagine the eery feeling of driving through campus 8 years later in my mini van, toting two precious lives alongside me. I have come a long way since those days, and I never ever want to go back. I drove all over the little lake side town. A lot has changed since I was there and now that I’m not hungover and drunk all the time I can actually see and appreciate the extraordinary and the simple. But now the sensation that over powers the melancholy and the bittersweet and the peace is; pee.
I gotta pee, like now. To make a long story short; I ended up peeing on the ground next to a tree behind the baseball diamond. I’m pretty sure no one saw me? The doors were locked to the restrooms in the park, and I have since decided to write a very strongly worded letter, sans the part about me peeing in the broad daylight with my cadillac stroller in tow. Otto was clearly confused. He’d barely woke up when I hustled him out of the van into the stroller and over to the locked bathrooms. He just witnessed a crime for goodness sakes. As I pulled my pants up I told him, “This is bad and illegal.” “Illegal, Mom?” No clue. I then asked him if he had to pee and he just looked at me like, “You’ve got to be kidding me.” Incontinence does not run in the family, thank you. We walked around a bit downtown but I had pine needles stuck in my underwear. I pee’d again at a great little toy store called, Shenanigans and flushed said pine needle and moss down this white ceramic thing?! I couldn’t believe the time we were having… not at all what I fantasized about earlier that day. I should mention that Otto had badly sprang his ankle at 4:30 that morning and was not walking, but rather scooting like the cats who scoot on their butts across the floor when they have worms.
This sort of peeing incident played out regularly in my drinking days. I was not a lady. And most anywhere was fair game. Alcohol took me deep into the pits of demoralization. I’m not proud of this but I’m not hiding it either. It’s what was. They say that ‘we will not regret the past nor wish to shut the door on it but we will see how our experience can benefit others.’ I don’t know if this sharing will benefit anyone else but me. Honesty keeps me sober and sane. Even when I don’t like it, it works. And I can laugh about peeing sober in the park! I’ve still got some crazy left in me. Wishing you all a happy Thursday and maybe we’ll meet again over the weekend, bring TP.

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8 thoughts on “illegal pee

  1. HA! Very funny, Mery. Most of us have probably had to make water in the great outdoors at some point in our lives but few can make it sound so humorous! :0)

  2. Well, I never! Just kidding, I have. Many a time, been present at said demoralizing pee breaks, and partaken quite a few times. I am happy you had the primative, sober sense to know, I MUST PEE NOW! It’s important to know these things.Other wise we would just be skipping and hopping and sitting around in stinky piss pants. Which is just, dumb. I would imagine you were feeling alot of different emotions, mountains and valleys of them, driving through that town. I think it rather fitting that you peed in the park. I am so glad you have been tackling the hard things in life with a sober mind and heart, and that you feel so much joy! You will always be a wild thing Mer, and we will live where they are. Keep on keeping on lady, you are so inspiring. I love you, all of you, your past self, your present and your future self. You are simply, MAGIC.<3

  3. Omg, I can picture you now pulling up your pants Otto is like what the heck, your scrambling like you stole something telling your first born that you pp illegially and asking if he wants to participate in your illegal activitys……..are you kidding me hysterical, im surprised you didnt get caught….im sure you had something red on or a bright color. you make me smile:)

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