over

Christmastime is over. The hustle of back to back birthdays, anniversary, and family feasts are over, for now. All that’s left is the impending mark of a new year. This time in particular causes pause for a lot of us. Most popular is the resolution phase. I resolve to ______ fill in the blank. I don’t know about ya’ll but I am not very good at keeping said resolutions, not for very long anyways. Sure, the month of January looks good but mostly after that I give up, forget or fail to a degree that I feel isn’t worth coming back from. I think I have a solution to the dilemma; dedication. Which, according to dictionary.com means to; set apart. Which strangely enough is a similar definition for ‘holy’. I want to set 2013 apart from all the other years past and make it well, holy. Like holy crap this is amazing! Like that. But how? What could I dedicate my time, energy and love to that could yield that type of return? One idea is my marriage. I mean, it’s already great and there’s not much I would change about the dynamics at this point but I know that my imagination doesn’t even come close to what God has in store for me. I mean, he’s the ultimate creator and designer… I’m like community college drop out in political science. There’s no way I should be in charge. So what does it look like to dedicate 2013 to my marriage?
Here’s a few things I could do to boost happiness in my marriage. Just off the top of my head:
1. Communicate several hours or preferably day before when I need to leave the house for errand/meeting/social gathering. My experience is that 10 minutes before = prickly feelings of angst for everyone.
2. Clean up then move on to next project. I will feel better and those around me will feel better too.
3. Throw out old dingy stained sweats and other pj wear. Wear cute stuff.
4. Pow wow in an OPEN and HONEST way. More often than I’d like to. Before I shut an idea down or label it wrong maybe I could test the suggestion. Maybe.
5. Slow down for kisses. Softer sweeter less ‘pecking’.
6. Turn off the t.v. put down the book
So that’s just a few, nothing too crazy. And this list, like everything else, is subject to change (Thanks Rachel). I’ll need a lot of help and a lot of prayers. I cannot do this on my own. Wait did I just say HELP?! That icky yucky stinky word keeps sneaking into my head and out of my mouth. I guess I hate its implications I don’t know, I can’t do it, I don’t have that. My history proves however that no other word in my vocabulary has so much power as, help. I know this deep down in my heart of hearts but I have a forgeter problem. For example I have to check every nook and cranny of my jacket and purse for my keys multiple times before I get to the car. Did I leave them in the car? The stroller? The house? Forgeter problem. Called me lately? I didn’t answer because I cannot find my phone. Forgeter problem. So when sh*$% hits the fan and I am scrambling around like a three-legged dog in a butt kicking contest HELP is the last thing on my mind. Yet it’s there, the love and grace of a power greater than I can imagine is there when I finally cease fighting and lay it all down. Surrender. Uncle. And God in all his Grandpa-like love welcomes me back in. I come in, take off my shoes, hat and coat. Sit down in the comfy old recliner and put my feet up. Relax. Please, help. I’m totally taken care of. Forgeter problem. I could do this first before all the pain and misery and maybe now it takes a little less of the two for me to realize the old ways of doing things my way still don’t work. My friend Carol says, “Doing it alone is not only hard it’s impossible so, stop trying.” I hear that. So here’s to 2013 a year of dedication, a year of holy grails and marriage. This is going to be fun.
As a side side side note I am indeed a community college drop out and that’s ok with me. However, if there’s ever any editorial notes you’d like to send my way I’d gladly appreciate it. If only they handed out degrees in Cher impersonations and the perfectly seasoned chili. Damn.
All for now friends- Shine on

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8 thoughts on “over

  1. Awww Mery. So much great stuff here. Thank you for the inspiration to work on my marriage this year. My dad always said it is the hardest, most rewarding job ever and it takes WORK! I must see the Cher impersonation someday, I can do Marge Simpson, perhaps a trade? LOVE YOU to pieces beautiful lady!

  2. You are such a treasure! I know you will one day find the time to write for “real”, because you are a really good writer. I always look forward to your blog and your insights. Hugs, S

  3. I am pretty sure Grandpa God is looking down and beaming,,,,as well sending you grace and patience,,You have a way of taking us in when we read your blogs, we are all present with you for those moments and like fine perfume it lingers lasts and re-vists our thought and senses…..Love Love Contendo Bon Anno!! (happy new year) Rebecca

  4. mer mer,
    i make no resolutions in fact i can’t remember when i last made one! my point being is it frees’ up my life and leaves me breathing and smileing the rest of the yr without anxiety of having some thought hanging over my head that i feel i have to do! i love the fact that your are making plans to do better for you and your family.i like your ideas etc. but for me and my life plans is to take life easy, enjoy it without trying hard and to enjoy & love those who choose to be in my life. i guess as one gets older life becomes simplier and easier to do what we’ve always planned when we retired! we take it a day at a time sometimes a week at a time depending on what is or what is not happening, sometimes we watch t.v. and cook all day! just that!
    luv the christmas card, glad you like the blanket – hope it will become the baby’s favorite!
    a. marty

    1. Aunt Marty, What great insight! Keep it simple has got to be one of the best pieces of advice I’ve ever gotten. Good to remember. And like I said, its all subject to change. I have the freedom to change my mind and just watch t.v if that’s what I need to do. Today that’s ok with me, even if not ok with someone else. I like the idea of just doing what is right for the you. Shakespere was onto something here; “To thine own-self be true.” Sending you love.

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