gold star sticker

Hi. Nice to see you again, friend. May I capture a few minutes of your time?
I’d like to tell you all about our morning with the Guild School.
First off, I have no idea why I continue to say “yes” to early morning appointments. We’re late about 95% of the time. Today was no exception. Upon arrival we were warmly welcomed into a brightly colored room- I nursed Hobbs and allowed the lump in my throat to thicken. All of the sudden it hit me- “it” has been hitting me slowly and subtly since November 3rd. Hobbs has Down Syndrome. Right. Got it. Check. Move on. “It” is easy to forget this inside our bubble. Things are fairly “normal” around here. Until, we meet with specialists and teams of people wanting to investigate my little boys fine and gross motor skills. Its then that I remember we’re not in Kansas anymore. We’re in Holland,as one author puts it. I’m getting used to no longer wearing mascara to doctor appointments or meetings of any kind to do with Hobbs. I end up looking more like Marilyn Manson than Marilyn Monroe. And thats just no good for anyone. And while we’re being honest, I NEVER look like Marilyn Monroe. The baby team enters and the questions begin to trickle in. Then the flood. We’re treading water nicely. One lady introduces herself as, Janet. I instantly relax. I feel as though my Janet is now here. I’m answering to the best of my knowledge and trying desperately not to over-compensate. (You don’t realize when you’re living your life, you may be tested on it later.) As Janet would say, “be quiet and take notes.” I am not capable of one word answers. I have a story to tell about everything. How he gets particularly excited when Eric comes home and the real fun begins; my boys are wild. And Hobbs is already willing to jump in.. if only he could move on his own- Darn these baby frog legs! I want to get the answer right. I want them to congratulate us on all our success. I want my gold star sticker! Hobbs of course, could care less. But that doesn’t stop me from wishing they’d just pluck one or five down next to his name on the checklist. My hands were never still. I kept reaching out to help this poor guy along. Retract hands. Stifle Mom instincts. They’re testing him, remember. This is not a race. There is no right or wrong, there just is what is.
Honesty. I had to remind myself to answer honestly. I know the national averages. I know what he’s supposed to be doing.. and I wanted to answer their questions based off of that information. I’m the problem, not Hobbs. Its not as if I care wether or not he can track objects, at least not until the I think the rest of the world is watching. I will have to practice not caring. I will have to practice ignoring standards. I will give less credit to percentages than ever before. We will celebrate his victories according to US. Today he is both healthy & happy. He can do most everything any other baby is capable of doing at his age. And the bottom line is; we’ll take all the help that is out there! As Eric put it plainly, “you can never have enough” Well said. I forget asking for help, doesn’t make you stupid. Quite the opposite.
Have you ever held a snowflake? Peaceful, delicate and supremely unique, this is what it feels like when I’m holding Hobbs.

The journey continues… we’re so thankful you’ve decided to join us. If you’ve been praying: Its working! If you’ve been sending us good vibes: Keep it up! There is an overwhelming sense of Peace in this house. We know we’re all going to be just fine. More than that, we’re finding life to be more of a dance, a party, a gift than ever before. We have so much to look forward to.
I can only tell you a little of the Thanks I feel inside. I am thankful mostly to God for picking me to be Hobbs’s Mom. I am special too-
Gold star stickers for everybody!!

11 thoughts on “gold star sticker

  1. You are such an awesome mommy and person Mery! God definitely chose the perfect family to send Hobbs to. I can’t wait to hold that little guy again. hopefully soon! Love all the updates…. keep them coming. Loves.

  2. Yes, Mery Noel is very special! I knew that from the moment you took me down like a 7th grade wrestler in his first match! God couldnt have picked a more perfect Momma,Dadda, brother & sister to be Hobbs family, nor Hobbs to be yours. You have been gifted with a gifted “cherub”, as Aunt Carol calls all the little babes in the family. No you are not fully equipped for this journey but God is fully equipping you, Eric, Otto, Tay, family & friends for HIS Kingdom to come. There will be many lessons, laughs, heartaches, trials, & victories along the way. I just love how God works everything for His Good and I believe YOU know, feel and have peace knowing this as you live your days in the moment, in the milestones only tailored and according to Hobbs successes and failures. Which, by the way, in my opinion, there are no failures when it comes to our children (& life), they are only opportunities to grow, learn a different perspective and new approaches and moments for more hugs and kisses and amazing heart talks!!
    We love you MerSunshine and thank you for involving us in your life through the words, emotions, stories and pictures in your blogs.

    “Dancing with the feet is one thing, but dancing with the heart is another.” -Anonymous
    “To watch us dance is to hear our hearts speak.” – Indian Proverb

  3. Gold Star sticker for you for having the gift of communication in writing. Your musings and revelations are a joy to read. As I am at the other end of life, going through the joys of having my mom live with us, the struggles and up and downs are very parellel. I have to accept that if everything doesn’t turn out okay here and she doesn’t like it here with us, it’s still okay, I’m still okay and we didn’t do anything wrong, it just is life. I can still praise, worship and find joy. Mery, you lift us up. My prayers go out for God to keep His hand right beneath you and your family, and for Him to set the tone in your home. Bless you.

  4. I just ate the biggest piece of humble pie……I can even put into words what you mist have felt like talking to “your team of doctors.
    I have the boys and I don’t know or care what the national averages are, I don’t understand the charts to be honest lol, anyways, my point is, you don’t need a chart to tell you how to care or love your children. Hobbs and Otto are happy and healthy and loved by two adoring parents. I’m glad he choose you two. I have a feeling he’s gonna surprise the whole world…he’s special, there’s something about him that’s….extraordinary . I love you xoxo

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