I’d like to introduce you to the latest and greatest addition to the Smith clan; Hobbs Atly Smith was born into this world November the 3rd at 10:27 am. He weighed a whopping 6 lbs. 6 ounces and measured 18 inches long. These are the basics. But there is so much more to be told.
My delivery came about 2 weeks earlier than expected. It was Wednesday morning and we happily arrived for a routine appointment and one last ultrasound…They had been concerned with Hobbs’s weight for many weeks; I was on a pretty strict diet of all you can eat in order to assist the little mans growth. Unlike all the previous ultrasounds this picture was unfavorable. Hobbs seemed to be in distress and running quite low on amniotic fluid- TMI? (Sorry to those who are a bit more modest, I’m a tell-all kinda gal.) So, at 37 weeks and 5 days I was given a choice between an induction or a repeat c-section. After some dialouge with my Husband and a few prayers we decided to schedule the cesarean. That night was full of excitement as we prepared to meet our son, as in, TOMORROW. We had been putting off on a few last minute but crucial details of receiving our boy. i.e No dresser or any sort of storage whatsoever for clothes, diapers or blankets. In fact we didn’t even have clothes that would fit the small fella. We had to shop in the ‘doll size section of the box store. I of course, started crying in the aisle of booties and onesies. If you know me even a little, you know I’m a crier. We waddled around for 3 hours in target collecting our thoughts and dreams, sheets and wipes. It was all so surreal. I can honestly say I slept about 3 hours that night. I mean, c’mon it was practically Christmas Eve in my book. Just so you know, November 1st is open season for Christmas movies, so I passed the wee morning hours with, “How the Grinch Stole Christmas.” It was officially time to start getting ready. Shower-check. Overnight bag-check. Camera, phone charger, favorite pj’s, car seat, baby clothes… check check check. WE WERE READY, or so we thought.
After a safe delivery for both Hobbs and myself we went into the recovery room where I would have to stay until I was able to wiggle my toes. This is where the game changed. This was the bottom of the ninth, bases loaded moment of our lives. Our doctor very gently began to describe Hobbs’s physical attirbutes, the fold over his cute little ears, the one crease in the palm of his right hand, the beating in his heart, it looked and sounded like Down Syndrome. I cannot begin to describe this next moment. It was a space where everything I thought I knew about God, my faith, our family, everything was in doubt. Would he ever go to school? Have a job? Go to prom? Get married? I mourned the loss of certain dreams I as a mother had for Hobbs.. Until I realized those things aren’t neccessarily promised to any of us. We’re all living one day at a time. We don’t get to know our life story. Not on day 1 or 50 years from now. All at once God tugged at my heart and pulled me out of the dark. In the light of the room, and the in the sunlight of the spirit I realized God had indeed entrusted us with an angel. We are his trusted servants and He had just given us the greatest gift we could’ve never hoped for.
You see, if it were up to me to write out the story of my life I would have made some serious edits. For example in my plan I went to a prestigous college where I graduated with honors, wrote a best-selling book for which pulitzer prizes were given, had a wardrobe from Neiman Marcus and well you know the list of perfect cookie cutter milestones continues… Basically I’d cut out all the messy, uncomfortable, painful, challenging and ultimately transforming life experiences. And in doing so, I would cut out all the splendor. All of the ‘worst’ things have become apart of my uselfulness to God and fellows.
Hobbs having Downs was not part of the plan I had. But, Thank God I’m not in charge because this will be so much better than anything I had in mind. He will be a teacher for sure. He will give the best hugs. He will smile more than most. He will probably most likely be missing the same ‘chip’ a friend once told me I was missing; the embarrassment chip. The one that tells you to stop dancing in the middle of the grocery store- yah I didn’t come with that ‘chip’. And neither did Hobbs.
Would you please consider adding Hobbs to your daily prayers? Would you consider walking with us in this journey of uncertainty? Could you stand to be surprised. We don’t need to know the whole look of the design, we trust the designer.