Mery Sunshine

Ya’ know those map directories they have in malls? They’re the colored coded boxes with numbers and icons. Who understands those things anyways? So-not-helpful. The only thing clear to me is the “YOU ARE HERE” box. That I get. Yes, but how do I get there? Way over there…

I found myself in the hardware store looking for bread, again. I set myself up to be disappointed. I guess that’s why I’m mostly mad at myself. The saying goes; hurt me once shame on you, hurt me twice shame on me. Now, because I believe in second and third chances I have had to modify this statement just a bit but the meaning holds true just the same. Otherwise, I stay a victim. And I am not a victim. I am actively participating in my life and the relationships in it. My part in this case is, I knew better. I knew better and I did it anyways. My will and God’s will were not aligned that day. Of course this spelled M-E-S-S-Y. I started expecting people, places and things to be different than were actually capable of being at the time. Janet would call this, Self-will run riot. Spot on my dear.
The term live and let live comes back to me.

YOU ARE HERE.

I want to know better and act on it. I want to be more mature, more forgiving, less sensitive. But I’m not. And pretending only causes more chaos and confusion for everybody involved. So here I am stuck in the middle between my head and my heart. I know there’s a solution. I just don’t have it yet. I’m not there. I’m here. And I also know that my wildest dreams and best laid plans will only limit what God has for me. No need to rush when it comes to healing. I’m going to sit here and wait for the third option. God’s always got the idea out of left feild. The one I never thought to consider or imagine. “While sadness cannot be rushed or avoided it can be shared.” Thanks for letting me share.

Mom,
Remember that time in 7th grade when you took me to go see, “Waterboy?” For whatever reason I wasn’t popular that week at school and I thought everyone who was anyone was going and I just had to be there or I’d die! It was ten minutes to show time and we lived at least 20 mins from the theatre. Nothing not even time was going to stand in your way. We threw on our denim jackets, rolled down the windows in the audi and blasted KW3. I admit, I was a little embarrassed to be going with my Mom but as soon as we arrived it felt like we owned the place. You made friends with everyone there and were officially dubbed, “The Cool Mom.” We ate popcorn and I used the Redvines you bought me as straws for my 7up. We’ve always made a great team.
Fall time makes me think of school clothes shopping. When I was in the single digits of life you’d take me to Spokane. This meant; Cyrus O’Leary’s oreo milkshakes, Wagon slide, Nordstrom and the Bon Marche’. My first pair of Dr. Martens were purple lace up boots. I walked around the playground with my head down not because I was scared or ashamed but because I couldn’t take my eyes off of the coolest shoes on the planet. You worked hard to give me all the nice things you thought I should have. Needless to say, when it was cold- I was warm. When it was hot- I looked cool. Even more than those days I recall the shopping trip we took in eighth grade. It was just the two of us. Again. And some way somehow you managed to suit me up all over again. I’m sure I said Thank You but I don’t think I could have really thanked you enough. I didn’t know the value of a dollar. Or how hard you must’ve worked to be able to clothe me in all the brand names I thought I needed. Its’ only now as a Mom myself that I get it. I know now what I wish I would’ve known then. You loved me more than anything.
Mom, you gave me belief in myself the goodness in people and the power of a smile. You’re the reason I sing to my kids in the morning. I’d like to know that I’m instilling the same virtues in my children. Being a Mom is more about the being part. You taught and loved me well. Happy Mothers Day Mama. Love, Mery Noel

Grandpa Sherman. One of the last great gentlemen. He is from a better time. A simpler time. The man is basically pure gold. We say the same jokes to one another.. the ones we’ve been saying for 15+ years. He asks me, “Mery, how blue are my eyes.” To which I reply, “Grandpa, they’re blue.” “Just how blue, Mery?” and I sigh, lovingly again and with all the zest I can muster, “Grandpa, your eyes are bluer than the tounge of a twelve year old boy, who just won a blueberry pie eating contest!” Que the laugh. As in singular. Its usually just one until he says, “Look, for these prices you can’t get Bob Hope!” I lose it right there. Partly because I’m still amused by the sharade but mostly because I’m infatuated with him. Still, the most charming man I know.
My Grandpa will tell you down to the hour how long he was married to my Grandma. He doesn’t miss a thing-except for he is legally blind. So in the literal sense there’s a lot that goes unseen; for his Christmas card he dressed handsomely in a beautiful suit…… and a fishing hat. He had forgotten to take it off. He’s also the guy who dressed up as Santa Claus for Christmas and visited Children’s hospitals. His favorite song is, “You Are My Sunshine.” Guess that’s probably why its my favorite too. His house is decorated with Cats and pictures of his children and their children and there children’s children. He uses public transportation to visit my Grandma weekly. Grandpa still takes care of and enjoys his pool. On saturdays you can find him on the roof fixing solar panels. Yes, I did say he was legally blind. The best part is he’s still grateful. He’s not one of those grumpy old guys who tips poorly and doesn’t smile at little kids. I’m convinced his happiness is what keeps him youthful. Grandpa still loves Jameson whiskey and good Irish blessings.
We had a great day celebrating the man we all love so much. Its days like those that remind me to; call more often, show up regularly and go out of my way if possible. I’m much happier that way. I wanted to show you more of the party- I’m not so much of a natural photographer. I’m a conversationalist type. What I can share with you in that way is this; family is crazy/beautiful. Thanks for stopping by… next time lets talk about my new favorite word: Restore.

These are my guys. They make for late nights, unending amounts of laundry and more happiness than I ever imagined possible. Much of what makes me smile is found right here in this one photo. Shout out to Taylar Noelle who isn’t pictured but all the same; deeply and truly loved.
This is the pit crew I’ll be taking with me to Yakima this weekend as we go and celebrate 85 years of living! My Grandfather is a pistol! I have many happy memories I’d like to share about him thus far- looking forward to making more this weekend. I will bring back pictures and of course, stories. Grandpa loves to tell stories. Thursdays the new friday people! Get your party hat and go!

This growing up stuff is hard work. With Hobbs- not everything comes naturally. We have to work a little harder and a little longer on things that sorta just auto-pilot for most other kids. No one ever gave me homework with Otto…God made it so that instincts suffice. Much of what we’re learning at the Guild School is intentional touch and creative stimuluous. I have to check in mid-day and ask myself how much time have we spent on the floor belly down? Have we used the Nuk? Did we practice binky and bottle? And how about the homework from Shirley our physical therapist, has that been done today? I wanted to share a few photos of our excersies with you and a new idea

For the last 3 years I believe that all the intention in the world meant nothing if the outcome didn’t match. I didn’t believe in the power of intention. With Hobbs however, intention is everything. My world is becoming less and less black and white. I’m finding gray. What’s even more surprising is, I like gray.


We work on ‘waking up’ the muscles in his mouth. The Nuk brush used twice a day coupled with some “MAAA-MAAA’S” and mouth to mouth are part of his speech therapies.


I have so much hope today. Thank you for sharing and being part of that. Meditating on possibilities- they are endless. I bid you all farewell for now- off to school we go!

Hi friends! Welcome back to merysunshine. You were missed. Today I want to introduce my friend, Sarah. Truth be told I used to sing birthday songs with this gal at Red Robin back in the day. She’d come to work with rainbow colored streaks in her hair and glam makeup- I thought she was SO cool. Still do. Now the thing that bonds us the most is our love for motherhood. She’s doting mother of one and the all out image of hands-on parenting. A few weeks ago I had this strong urge to invite her to guest blog here @ merysunshine. I wrote to her and asked if she’d be interested. Thankfully, she was. It was pure obedience on my part. I had no motive other than to listen to the voice deep within. It just sorta bubbled up one day as I was typing. So with this broad outline of- speak your truth whatever that is and I’ll support you, she wrote bittersweet. Prepare to wear a smile all day after reading.
In doing this little mash up I have come to the conclusion that it is important to support your friends. Duh. Like you didn’t already know that. Sometimes for me though, I forget I can practice these things daily. In a not-so-big way I can be of service. Just by typing a few words back and forth. Encourage means: to stimulate, promote, to inspire with courage and spirit. I’d like to think that this is what happened here today. This is what I want merysunshine to be about. A place to come and feel inspired and supported, ’cause we are. Enough outta me- go enjoy the day.

Yes, that’s cookie dough. Yes, he said “Merry Christmas.” We do things a little a lot different around here. We like it that way. Sometimes I still feel like my chest will burst open with an old faithful effect of love spurting out. I fall in a little deeper when he closes our prayers with, “A-mint.” And then mid car chasing and dinosaurs drop over for a butterfly kiss. When he’s asleep I sneak over and whisper my apologies. I ask for forgiveness if I lost my patience or sometimes I just pray that God would show me how to be the best Mom that I can be. We just got news from the Guild school that Otto can enroll as of May 4th as a peer model for their pre-school class. Since April 1st we’ve said good-bye to diapers, to our crib and now we’re on to school!? I’m clapping and cheering him on while simultaneously pouting. He’s my baby. He’s where it all started. I’ll leave you with a line from one of our favorite books. “Everyday with you is special I love you through and through, I udderly udderly love you and I know you love me too.” These are cows talking! I love this life I get to live. I’m gonna go out and do some dancing!

Remember this tree? Its sorta like my compass for the seasons here in Spokane. I’ve been watching closely and if it doesn’t jinx it I’d like to declare; SPRING!

We sit under the window here and catch first morning light

Otto has been known to whisper… to bee’s and bugs of all sorts.

Aimlessly playing along with whatever comes to mind for our almost 2 and 1/2 year old. Feeling like I just won the $656,000,000 dollar lottery. Rolling around with Hobbs like little piglets, snorting and all.This song my Mom used to sing to me every morning before school is coming to mind…
“I am a Promise! I am a Possibility! I am Promise, with a capitol P! I am a great big bundle of Potentiality! And I am trying to hear God’s voice and I am trying to make the right choice…” How’s the rest of it go Mama?
I hope you have a love filled day. We’re already on our way!

Sometimes I say this prayer before I go into a room full of people. Or sometimes I say it right before a coffee date. Sometimes I just say it mid day-when I start to think I have good ideas and big plans.

“God, help me set aside everything I think I know about (fill in the blank), about myself, and most especially about you God… That I may have a new experience with (fill in the blank), with myself and most especially with you God. Amen.”

I used to be a ritual prayer. I’d have to get all my ducks in a row before I could pray. Take a shower. Light a candle. Balance the check book. A lot of the time these mundane tasks held me back from praying. There were big things too. Guilt and shame mostly. Feeling like if I open up, really truly try to open my heart and soul to God he’ll take one look in there and puke. I’d tell myself to come back and try again later after I did some redeeming acts or ‘stayed good’ for at least a week. Needless to say I didn’t pray much back then. I have to constantly be reminded to be gentle with myself. And with others. I’m far more likely to treat you well when I’m treating myself in the same fashion.
I used this prayer today before our morning walk. I wanted to have a new experience with our neighbors, the sidewalk, myself and my children. And I did. Maybe its as simple as being more grateful. I find being grateful for the stuff you do and see everyday to be hard sometimes. It’s so much easier to be excited and thankful for trips to Disney Land and new kitchen appliances. We see these signs and houses and trees almost everyday today though they seemed especially special. It’s a place I recommend you see for yourself, and when you do be sure to stop and talk to George and Judy. They’re real friendly.
Peaceful Valley is of itself peaceful and colorful, but I’d like to think today we helped contribute a little something else. A spark. Some laughter and especially some light. Go ahead, get out there and shine!

Howdy.
Back from our break. We don’t just brake for birds and hitch hikers. We also break for spring. It’s been one of the best weeks of my life. I love that even though our house is whopping 800 square feet, we still manage to have a revolving door. There’s always extra food, blankets and even room. When should we expect you?
It was a full house as Tay spent the last few days of her break here. I LOVE having the extra set of hands. I love having another female around to exchange eye rolls with when the boys are being…well boys! Plus, we both enjoy smoothie making and baking and all things mixing. We celebrated spring break with spontaneity, green eggs and Chuck E. Cheese.
I want to tell you how much fun we had but I don’t know I’d ever be able to do it justice. I felt a sense of peace as I relaxed and let things unfold. Hobbs my sweet, spent his first Easter at Gram’s house with the rest of the cousins. Does anyone else travel to Christmas carols? I realized I know more Christmas songs than any other type of music. We jingle bell through town in April.
I’ve been keeping a one sentence journal the last few weeks- attempting anyways. There’s been a great deal of change and growth over here. Otto’s got a BED. Hobbs’s neck is getting stronger by the minute. Diapers are less often. I’m learning more and more to let it go. All of it.
This is what its all about. Love the life you live. Live the life you love.